Its been sad, happy, busy, frustrating and emotional......but we are alive, surviving what life throws at us on a daily basis.
I wanted to share a few things in this blog so its going to be long. I know I promised to write every day but because I am homeschooling Ava ,I tend to forget about my needs lately. All my focus is on getting this unique individual to a place where she is happy. There does not seem to be many happy moments lately but the one thing I can say is that Ava's language skills go above and beyond my expectations sometimes.
Several words have emerged this past couple of week which deliver shock and awe status..not that I'm surprised but certain older individuals need to be mindful of her innate ability to take things literally.
Sometimes its funny and sometimes its embarrassing and sometimes I roll my eyes because at that time its just too much to even think about!!.
Emily, my wonderful bright, engaging, funny, messy, highly moral teen has had a few issues in relation to her schooling. She does not think her words or discussions or debates will have any impact whatsoever on her grades. I am of the opinion that grades are subjective, over the years I have always just read the comments, taking them with a pinch of salt, I expect the usual remarks like "Emily is a hard worker who has a natural ability for blah blah" and tend to skip over the grade.
High school has been a challenge though..I mean I know she doing well and a couple of subjects could have been better but what got me was a teacher describing her as having a 'forceful nature' This just made me plain giggle. I was wetting my pants with laughter, anyone that knows my daughter knows she will debate you, stand up for her underdog peers or take a moral high stance at things which her school buddies just laugh off.... its not unusual for her tell a teacher that what she is saying is bigotry, racist, morally unethical or wrong.
I remember her grade four teacher telling her that Tutankhamen was his 'real name' and it was 'said like that'.
Emily told her different, even went as far to say that she had already done a whole years research on Egyptian beliefs and kings and that it was 'not his real name' and it was 'not said like that'.
Anyhoo, I get a phone call from the teacher saying that Emily was willful and argumentative. I know she can be but if she's right, she's right. I asked the teacher what was said, the teacher was adamant she was correct and that Emily was 'making things up'. It got Em so angry!! it got me angry and frustrated, once again teachers were 'boxing' her intelligence. Treating her like she was a dummy and knew nothing. Needless to say Ems 'comments' from 'that teacher' were not so nice at the end of the year. Never mind we had just brought our very premature baby home after 5 months in a Perth hospital.... never mind my eldest daughter was ripped out of her home and had to go to another school with strangers and new teachers and new rules. She shows a great deal of resilience and courage, I never heard her complain once....only years later did we realise how much of an impact it had on her. I was pretty much full time at the hospital. Graeme had to go back to work and I saw Em in between dinner and bed and pumping milk and breakfast.
So now at school she picks and chooses those teachers that nurture her, provide that little extra or recognise she actually wants to work and has a brain. Already, at year nine, after day one she has slammed several teachers because they are treating her like a 13 year old (well she is but sometimes her brain is not). Its just considered as 'defiant and arrogant' in her school.
On the other hand, Ava my mother nature goddess is embracing home school but is having difficulty recognising routine and time. She thinks breakfast is either an all day event or not at all. Clothes are not required for school or a 'pyjama day' is what she wants because her skirts are 'not right', or 'its the wrong colour'. I suppose there is always 'something '.
So here's the challenge, Ava has a half diagnosis of Aspergers (I say half because we have not completed the diagnostic procedure)..
Everything we do in daily school life is geared around her sensory issues, her ability to integrate properly and how much we can get through without huge meltdowns or refusal to work.
Some days are better than others.
A fellow mum with a child who has Aspergers once said "Its better to have a non productive calm day that an escalated out of control bad day". This has kind of stuck and helps us achieve what we need to achieve.
I mean if Ava is colouring in and the colour is not right, its not out of the ordinary for her to get upset and hide under the table for an hour. You can try to get her out, which I do or I can leave her alone to help herself. The latter is usually successful but it could take a while. Patience and understanding is the key here, to be able to recognise when this is not 'just a tantrum' and that you 'know' her brain is just wired wrong...shes currently residing in Afghanistan but you want the 'calm blue oceans' of Tahiti.
SHE WOULD RATHER BE AN ANIMAL ALL DAY..
Well I have to stop here because already the school day has begun, its not a good start, Emily is home from school once again and the clash of the sisters has begun....please see this blog spot in a couple of days..check in to my dramas and triumphs lol.
TEEN WITH 'TUDE
