Friday, December 10, 2010

for what its worth

Due to recent events it has come to my attention that people in general will never learn how to treat others in a fair indiscriminate way, some tell you 'thats life' and sure it may be , but we can make our world a better place by not giving up on treating everyone in a fair and equal way.
Some may say, we do this because our brains are so complex and its 'natural' to be nasty and put others down. Yes we have all done it, but isn't it time we made the changes and learnt from how it makes others feel?
Imagine, your first day of school, how inside you are scared but excited because you will get to be in a classroom with great kids and you have the opportunity to learn and interact in a positive way. To make friends, to be loved by someone other than your family. To show the world your potential, your character, your very soul...it has to be great right?
WRONG!! not the case for me, on my first day of primary school I was teased for having freckles, for wearing a second hand uniform, for having pale features, I was humiliated, scared, felt horrible inside, and from that day it never ceased. All through my schooling, right up until my last year of highschool, I was affected by what others had said and done, I was mentally, physically and emotionally abused, I was ridiculed and made to feel worthless, insignifigant.
As an adult now ot still affects me, I am not thick skinned, too much of this hatred towards me has eventuated in a person who wished dearly to slice up those bullies with my best knife, I kill them over and over in my head, I see how my childs friends avoid me because I am a 'large woman'.
What does that mean anyway?
Does your size determine who you are as a person? some would say it does..I would say , it does not matter, if you are flawed you are stil a target..how you choose to deal with it is another opinion.
Its easy to tell someone to rise above it, to ignore, but in reality, it hurts..it does not subside, even if you manage to cover up how you feel it remains etched in your brain. It can and will. affect your relationships with people.
So what I'm saying here is 'Be careful how you treat others, talk about others, your negative actions could impact someones life in a great way, it could very well end their life too :(.